19 February 2014

7 years and still going strong

Hi all! 

Today, 7 years ago, my life changed dramatically. This is how I'm doing right now.

When I had my accident and got told the bad news, I wanted to die. I literally hoped that the nurses would make a mistake and give me an overdose of morphine. I couldn't see my life without being able to walk, and I couldn't stand the idea of being handicapped for the rest of my life. 

"Most likely, you will never be able to walk again". 

When the ambulance came, they had to pull my ankle joint back into place. No painkillers, nothing. Just one ambulance working holding me down, and one pulling my crushed ankle back into place. I can't remember much other than I was screaming. I could hear my own scream coming back as an echo from the city. That's how loud it was. I was in total shock, and I panicked. 

"This will never heal".

They rushed me in to hospital. They cut my jeans off and sent me off to a quick surgery to stabilise the ankle. I'd never been in hospital before, and I remember the fear when they took me away from Mum and Dad into the surgery room. I remember I was crying. 

I don't remember much of the whole hospital stay. I remember hating it, and being in pain. I remember the 57 needle marks on my thigh from the painkiller shots, since I got too much morphine and they were afraid I'd get addicted. I remember the desperate cries for help when the pain was too much to handle, and how long it took for the nurses to get into my room and help me out. I remember the humiliation of not being able to go to the bathroom alone, and how bad I felt after 2 weeks without a proper shower. I remember how thin I was, and how bad I looked. I remember the pain in my parents faces seeing their child like this. 


"It won't get better than this. I wouldn't count on it anyway".

My second surgery was the big one, and it took me ages to get it. My ankle was so swollen and they couldn't operate on it. I was so afraid before this surgery, and I can remember them sticking their needles everywhere to administer enough drugs for the general anaesthesia. I have no idea how long it took, but I woke up and my Dad was there. After 16 days in hospital they finally sent me home. From there it took 3 months of physiotherapy, and I was hating life for 3 more months. I set myself a goal, and that was to walk up and get my diploma when I finished floristry school. And I sure did walk up there. 

"Most likely, you will never be able to walk again". 
"This will never heal".
"It won't get better than this. I wouldn't count on it anyway".

These three quotes are from my doctors. You know what?

SCREW YOU! 

It's been 7 years. I've done so much. It took me a few years to understand that the doctors were wrong, but when I first realised this, nothing could stop me. 

The last year and a half, I've found a love for working out. I've always hated physical exercise...just ask my P.E teachers. I think the reason why I love it now, is that it gives me self esteem. I can do this. 

I've lost 15 kilos/33lbs. My scars are no longer bloody and red. They are actually quite cool. My legs are no longer made of jelly, but muscles. I work out 7 days a week, sometimes twice a day. I lift weights and I go to spin classes 4 days a week. I've set a personal record with squats; 130 kilos/286lbs - with a broken ankle. I've even taught myself to run again. I haven't been able to run since before my accident (not that I did a lot of running), but now I do it because I can. 


I want to inspire other people with injuries or other problems. You can totally do this. I hate it when perfectly healthy people complain about themselves. Do something about it for crying out loud, it's not like anything is stopping you. If you don't like your body, join the gym. Just don't sit there on your ass and say "I can't do this because *some lame excuse*" YES YOU CAN!

Anything is possible if you want it bad enough. I'm not saying I'm the definition of perfect, I'm far from it, but despite the injury I have and how much it freaking hurts every single day, I get on with it. Yes, I do sit at home some evenings crying because it hurts. I wonder "why me?" and I want to rip my ankle off and throw it away (that would probably hurt even more, bad idea). Most days are okay with moderate pain, other days are hell from I wake up till I go to bed. 

Just, remember.. Get on with it, it won't kill you. 

The sky is the limit. 

X



12 comments:

  1. You're absolutely right and this is very brave of you! Carry on!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh! it's great you are fine now.

    ReplyDelete
  3. WOW! What a fighter you are!

    Jag har en liten fråga till dej... Jag behöver hjälp. Jag hittade dej via Roxie Roulette som var med i Pinups and Kustoms Onlinetidning där jag är editorial assistent. Nu till sommaren anordnar vi "Miss Pinup Scandinavia" tillsammans med Mooneyes Sweden och jag har fått massor av nomineringar från Sverige, Danmark och Finland, men inga från Norge...?!

    Så... Skulle du kunna hjälpa mej att dela evenemanget bland dina norska vänninor? Du kanske till och med vill nominera dej själv? ;)

    Här hittar du vår teaser i webbtidningen: http://www.pinupsandkustoms.com/blog/miss-pinup-scandinavia-2014

    Här är vår sida på Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/misspinupscandinavia

    Här är tävlingsbloggen som ännu är under konstruktion: http://www.pinupsandkustoms.com/misspinupscandinavia

    ...och här hittar du mer om mej. :)
    http://www.mirannalamore.com

    Tacksam för all hjälp!
    Klem MirAnna La More

    ReplyDelete
  4. Such an inspiration to so many that hear similar words from those who are supposed to know best. Determination is a powerful thing and you really showed how the will to live can be the best medicine.

    ReplyDelete
  5. good for you, this is a very inspiring story! Good for me to read when I am complaining! Carol Joy

    ReplyDelete
  6. Du er BEST! Aldri gi opp! <3

    ReplyDelete
  7. "I haven't been able to run since before my accident (not that I did a lot of running), but now I do it because I can." You have no idea how incredibly deep this struck me. My Mom, my best friend and cheerleader, passed away this July. I've been a mess since and haven't had the huzpah to finish this damned dissertation -- something that I've been fighting for and working on since 2011. While I'm still mourning, I need to stop making so many excuses for not getting back to work. I need to finish this dissertation and move on ... because I can. THANK YOU!!!

    And HUZZAH for you. I love when folks are told by the doctors that they can't and in response they do. :) HELL YEAH!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Have you seen the movie "Way of the Peaceful Warrior"? You'll find it familiar! And hopefully inspiring too.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Wow you did so great!! You really inspire!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. "I hate it when perfectly healthy people complain about themselves." - How I understand you!
    You rock girl :) just wish you all the best. xxx

    ReplyDelete

Leave a comment, I love reading them!